Dear Future Child, The First of Many Words of 'Wisdom'

(Initially posted Septemper 2nd, 2013) Dear future child, 

I'm going to start this with a very simple statement. The world is a scary place even now as I write this. I can't imagine what it will be like when you're old enough for this, so...I'm going to speak addressing the problems I see younger people dealing with now. I imagine I'll have the necessary conversations with you about your current world when I know what we're up against.

Did you catch that? I said 'What WE'RE up against.'

Nowadays, I know how easy it is to feel alone and let me tell you, it sucks. It's downright awful. But...you can get through it. I will be by your side from the very beginning to the day I die and beyond. You may not always understand why I yell, why I lose my temper, why I sometimes am hypocritical...but I'm trying.

As much as you're learning right now, I'm learning how to be the one that watches you struggle, the one who tries to teach you everything I know that potentially saved my own life.

Right now, I see younger and younger CHILDREN getting themselves into horrifying situations because of absent parents, poor role models, and peer pressure. There is much more to that list, but that's what I'm putting out there.

They experiment with dangerous things in order to feel grownup and let me tell you...if I find out you broke your standards to fit in, and I will find out, the punishments will be severe. Why?

Because I love you. I adore everything you are even now, without knowing who you are, when you will be with me...I love you, because I know you're there, watching.

There are young kids running around trying to be adults, trying to play in these 'grown up' relationships and let me tell you, nothing good will come from these. They might seem fun and exciting now, but even I've experienced the dark side to rushing into something you are simply too young to understand.

I am far from perfect, I am far from the perfect example and there will likely be things I choose to keep to myself until you are older to understand.

I know you will make mistakes. I know you have made mistakes. I still love you for everything you are, everything you can be, and everything you will be. (Unless you're a serial killer, then I maaaaay have some troubles there. Anyway, back to seriousness.)

Anything that is important to you, share it with me. I want to know you. I want to know what makes you happy because you make me happy, even when you drive me absolutely crazy.

Everything you struggle with, tell me. Let me in. I may not always understand(or so you think) but I want to try. I want to support you and be there for you no matter what.

By the time you read this, you know your mama is ranty and can't always say everything I want to as well as I need to, but I pray that you understand. I pray that you have a testimony, a mind of your own, and that you understand you need to love YOU. It doesn't matter if that stupid kid in class doesn't like you because I LOVE YOU. Your Heavenly Father loves you and knows so much more about you than I can even imagine.

Value yourself and you will find that when difficult choices come up in your life, you won't make a bad decision because of someone else, you'll make the mistake because you're human and you thought it was what YOU wanted.

I don't expect perfection, but I do expect you to TRY. Try to be your best at all times, even if that means you feel alone in your group of friends, even if it feels like I'm holding you to an impossible standard. Please, please, you will understand in time, if you don't now.

Oh, and don't let the computer rot your mind. Don't get that stupid brain implant(should they have those.) Borgs are not THAT attractive.

Learn your talents, do what you love, work hard. Even if you don't want to, trust me, I almost never WANT to work hard, but it's important.

So, I guess I'm done for now, but I'll leave you with this.

I love you. I LOVE YOU. I promise I will be that embarrassing mother that wants to hug you in public, kiss your forehead in front of your friends, even if I need to make you crouch to do so.

As I am only human, there are very few things that you will EVER do that could make my love for you falter(see the serial killer comment.) But I will always try to make sure you know without a doubt, if it's you against the world, I am right behind you, singing Eye of the Tiger in my awkward way. You will be Rocky, dangit!

Be good, make good choices, stand in holy places and all that jazz. And don't be afraid to come to me if you are having trouble with your beliefs. I will help you and love you always in the end.

Love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be.

Signed, your faulty, imperfect, but loving mother ♥